Red by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Format: epub
Published: 2010-02-13T07:23:23+00:00

Chapter Ten

After a few minutes of awkward silence, he turned to me with a kind smile and patted my hand. "It's none of my business. All I know is it's been years since I saw you smile like you did today. It looked good on you."

The rest of the ride home was spent in silence. I wasn't angry. I just didn't know what to say. When we arrived at my house, I waited for Richard to open the door. Since he was nice enough to be a gentleman, I wasn't going to ruin it for him. I considered myself as liberated as the next woman, but if a man still finds it in his heart to practice some form of chivalry, I'm not going to kill it with more women's lib. I am flattered to be treated like a lady. Though I'm definitely no angel, I appreciate the gesture.

As he turned to leave, I stopped him, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"Richard?" I made his name a question.

"Yes?" He turned back to face me.

"Has it really been that long since I smiled?"

He hugged me to him with an affectionate squeeze around my shoulders. "You've smiled," he answered. "But today ... it reached your eyes."

"Thanks, Richard," I said, pulling back.

"For braving an old woman's tea party?"

"For being honest."

"Any time." His smile reached his kind blue gray eyes.

Over the years, and through many sleepless nights of conversation, sharing philosophies about why people are the way that they are, I had come to trust Richard. If he said my smile hadn't been reaching my eyes, then it hadn't.

After watching him drive out of sight, I went in the kitchen and made myself a drink. The effects might not last, but a fifteen minute buzz was better than nothing. As I sat there with only Marco's roses to keep me company, I wondered, not for the first time, what was wrong with me. I had managed to find a nice man, and still I wanted to spend time with Elijah. I didn't love Marco, but I couldn't seem to stay away from him either. With another shot of rum, I remembered thinking that if Peter had only loved me, that would have been enough. The memory was very vivid, and I was sure at the time that his love would have been all I needed. Perhaps it was the naivety of youth that had made me think so, but it seemed that way to me.

It was the same with Bradley. I was willing to 'forsake all others' just to be with him. I knew he was no good, but since when has that ever stopped a woman in love? It's stupid and cliché, but true. If you love someone, it doesn't matter how much of a loser they are, you will always look for the good in them. Then one day you come to a point like me, when you can no longer lie to yourself. I try not to lie to people I like, and I like me.

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